“Invoked” (2015) DVD Movie Review

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Gather round ghosts and ghouls, and prepare to be scared witless by this horrific example of a Horror movie. Yes, I accidentally picked up a turd from the rental store and had to sit through the lot of it. So now you have to hear about it. Lucky you.

So see if you keep up with the complex and riveting plot of this Irish Found-Footage film? A group of kind of asshole-ish students decide to go on a trip to an abandoned Bed ad Breakfast in the middle of nowhere, and find out the place is haunted. Quite the venture away from the standard, isn’t it? And outside of some sub-plots that don’t have much of a bearing on the main storyline at all, that all you’ll get here.
The running time only takes up 80 minutes or so, but you’ll feel every one of those pass by like a double-Geography class on a Monday morning. Nearly half of it passes with no scares at all – just conversations, walking into a shop, driving, more talking, going into the house, picking their bedrooms, and more talking. And when the first “spooky” scene is a lame attempt at Ouija… you’ll no there no saving yourself from this at all.

Starting with that script and character design, there’s none to be found. Sure, different locations happen but you get the feeling it was all just done on the fly. The characters have no personalities at all to them, and break down into the asshole guys and the self-centred girls. That’s it. No one has any interesting traits or back-stories to them, the development is as flat as a sheet of paper. All the camerawork is done Found Footage style, with no artistic or atmospheric shots set up. Just another example of this technique being cheap, and that was the only reason it was used.
Once things do go bump in the night in a very limp way, it is a wash-and-repeat process of “What was that noise?”, followed by someone checking it out, catching half a second of someone in dress up, the group freaking out, and then it all happening over again. The horror character itself isn’t very interestingly designed either, just vaguely similar to other movies of this kind and with the same jump-scares implemented to a weak result.

But worst of all is when all of this mixes together as you watch it, and you realize that there is nothing, NOTHING of interest to be found. Not even on an enjoyably-bad level, I just found myself so bored that it took every struggle not to fall into Comatose. It is like watching some jerk-off idiot group’s footage of their “Party Weekend Trip”, and then someone stapled a Horror movie to the end of it with no thought or originality.
Now, I don’t to be that guy who takes a big dump over an Irish made film by what must have been a young crew. This was probably a big deal for them to get distribution. But for a product like this to get a DVD release? I can’t help myself, I was furious at the lazy “Who cares anyway??” feel to everything that was put into this movie. It is one of the worst Horror movies I have ever had to sit through, and you shouldn’t put yourself through the same ordeal. Avoid at all costs, fuck this film.

(1/10)

Thanks for reading!

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